March 22, 2020 – Observations and Thoughts…
Finding my reset button. Yesterday, I wrote about feeling sad and somewhat hopeless, despite doing lots of things to nurture myself and others. After yesterday’s evening unfolded, I had a few epiphanies:
1. Connection is so important. I video chatted with my parents and then we got on with all my siblings and their families. We didn’t really talk about anything but seeing everyone’s faces and laughing proved to be so energizing and cathartic.
Afterward, my immediate family watched a terrible movie (thought not on purpose!) and ended up in a spontaneous dance party. Wish I had taken pictures of that! The movement and laughter did a body good, for all five of us.
2. A hot shower and a good meal can cure many things. I had not showered or even washed my face for the past few days, much less put on makeup; something that’s unusual for me. What’s the point? Well, I learned yesterday what the point was. When we were Facetiming with my family, I got to see very clearly how terrible I looked. And when I look terrible, I usually feel terrible. Getting “dressed to the shoes” *, also doing makeup and hair, is how I typically get ready to face my day–even if I never plan to leave the house. It helps me feel motivated and capable and ready for whatever life may bring.
* “Dressed to the Shoes” is a FlyLady phrase meaning, each day before you leave your bedroom, you should get dressed down to your shoes, with your hair and makeup done…and I can attest that it’s impact is real. Check it out at FlyLady.net,
Over the past few days, I let the heaviness of our current world affect my daily routine–and subsequently my attitude–and I started slipping into a sad state. The video chat with my family was a bit of an embarrassing wakeup call (thankfully, I don’t have any pictures of that!). But, cue a hot shower, a good meal, and that crazy dance party…and, voila, I felt more like myself.
3. Could there be relief in not having to be perfect? As a migraine sufferer and “Recovering Perfectionist,” I often feel that I’m letting others and myself down. How can I be available for my husband, kids, and family when migraines so often sideline me? How can I get the work done that needs to be done without having to constantly take breaks to lie down? As an aside, I can never remember whether lay or lie is correct. Do you lay a book down or does a dog lie down? I could spend time googling it and reading the interpretations, but “ain’t nobobdy got time for that” right now! Some grammar rules will always plague me. But I digress…
It amazes me in times of tribulation, such as these, how quickly the worries that used to torment me fade. I can see purpose in this suffering. I can see I’m not meant to beat myself up or worry about the future. Right now, I can’t. All I can do is cling to Jesus. That’s all I have strength for. I am unable to even look a day ahead, as that causes me significant anxiety. All I can do is put my faith in God that there is a purpose for this suffering and that He will deliver us.
The incredibly wise and comforting words of Romans 5 keep popping into my head:
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5 ESV
#alonetogether #newnormal #thisiscoronalife #hopeinsuffering